Saturday, 10 May 2014
Lesson from God's classroom
My conviction has almost always been that love should be rational.Just because someone is in love doesn't mean they should flush their brain down the toilet.And whereas that still holds true ,it dawned on me this morning that if love were rational, i would have no chance with my God.His love for me...for you...is beyond reason.Many times i assess my life and wonder"what is wrong with this God??How can He still soooooo love me like that??"and me and my left brain are totally hushed up!!We talk of cheating spouses...i cheat on God all the time idolizing all these other things and people.We talk of distance in relationships because our boyfriends/girlfriends/
Happy Mothers' Day!!
On this mothers' day eve, three years later and change, looking back i can say with confidence that indeed this far God has been faithful.
There was a time when i never thought i would smile again. When the pain in my heart was so much i honestly honestly thought i would die and inflicting physical pain hurt less. When every single morning like clockwork i would break down just before i went to work or as i took a shower, and sometimes i wouldn't even be able to make it to the office. When the USIU media centre washroom floors were my place of comfort and solace. When i would cry in a matatu not caring who would see me because i felt too crushed and distraught to care.
I now look back and cannot believe that we have made it this far. Sometimes i wonder how i got here...how we got here. Sometimes a friend who has just lost a parent will ask how i managed and at the risk of sounding like an overzealous preacher, even after offering reassurance from all my "psychology training", the one concrete absolute answer i have that has seen me through is "but for God"...indeed but for God. But for Him holding us through our all-over-the-place emotions, the endless questions, we would not have made it.
So on this day, in absentia, with balancing tears in place of the middle-of-the-night sobs, Happy Mothers' Day Mama!! I thank God for the woman that you were in this world. Happy Mothers' Day to all the mums who have been in that tireless and often thankless job for ages. To all those who are new in motherhood still trying to learn the ropes of this very great calling and wondering whether you are doing a good job...you are not called to be perfect but to love fully and truly. God will teach you the rest as you move along. To all the dads who have raised their kids practically on their own for one reason or the other...hats off to you!! To all those who were mums but for one reason or the other death robbed them of their bambino, may this day bring you comfort somehow. To all those whose kids have been lost to wrong decisions and choices in this journey of life and somewhere along the way you feel like a failure, Happy Mothers' Day is yours as well. Your prayers and tears do not go unnoticed to Him who sees and knows all and has the final say. To those struggling with guilt, shame, regret, unforgiveness, remorse, grief over your child not being in this world, Happy Mothers' Day to you too. God sees His righteousness when He looks at you...may this be the day when your chains are broken...and you are able to experience His love and forgiveness absolutely enough to offer it to yourself. To all those carrying their first child and to all of us aspiring mums, Happy Mothers' Day!! Whether your mother is here or not, take time and appreciate a mother or two. For those whom this is the first mothers day without your mother or child, do what you feel you have or need to do to get through this day. "Be strong" really is a load of bull. Take heart...it really will get better someday. Give time time.
Happy Mothers' Day!!! #Cheers!!!
There was a time when i never thought i would smile again. When the pain in my heart was so much i honestly honestly thought i would die and inflicting physical pain hurt less. When every single morning like clockwork i would break down just before i went to work or as i took a shower, and sometimes i wouldn't even be able to make it to the office. When the USIU media centre washroom floors were my place of comfort and solace. When i would cry in a matatu not caring who would see me because i felt too crushed and distraught to care.
I now look back and cannot believe that we have made it this far. Sometimes i wonder how i got here...how we got here. Sometimes a friend who has just lost a parent will ask how i managed and at the risk of sounding like an overzealous preacher, even after offering reassurance from all my "psychology training", the one concrete absolute answer i have that has seen me through is "but for God"...indeed but for God. But for Him holding us through our all-over-the-place emotions, the endless questions, we would not have made it.
So on this day, in absentia, with balancing tears in place of the middle-of-the-night sobs, Happy Mothers' Day Mama!! I thank God for the woman that you were in this world. Happy Mothers' Day to all the mums who have been in that tireless and often thankless job for ages. To all those who are new in motherhood still trying to learn the ropes of this very great calling and wondering whether you are doing a good job...you are not called to be perfect but to love fully and truly. God will teach you the rest as you move along. To all the dads who have raised their kids practically on their own for one reason or the other...hats off to you!! To all those who were mums but for one reason or the other death robbed them of their bambino, may this day bring you comfort somehow. To all those whose kids have been lost to wrong decisions and choices in this journey of life and somewhere along the way you feel like a failure, Happy Mothers' Day is yours as well. Your prayers and tears do not go unnoticed to Him who sees and knows all and has the final say. To those struggling with guilt, shame, regret, unforgiveness, remorse, grief over your child not being in this world, Happy Mothers' Day to you too. God sees His righteousness when He looks at you...may this be the day when your chains are broken...and you are able to experience His love and forgiveness absolutely enough to offer it to yourself. To all those carrying their first child and to all of us aspiring mums, Happy Mothers' Day!! Whether your mother is here or not, take time and appreciate a mother or two. For those whom this is the first mothers day without your mother or child, do what you feel you have or need to do to get through this day. "Be strong" really is a load of bull. Take heart...it really will get better someday. Give time time.
Happy Mothers' Day!!! #Cheers!!!
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